Bethanie lost her balance, landing at the German's feet. Do I run, she thought? If I do they may shoot me in the back. But if she let them take her in.....the memory of Tomas heating needles on the kitchen range firmed her resolve. If the German tried to help her up, she'd knock him down and run. She was strong enough for that, and he wouldn't be expecting it. If he didn't try to help she'd run anyway, though they'd more than likely catch her as she tried to muscle past. She tensed...It was all. Andrew g'me a book. 'E's probably forgot. I been usin' that and," she hesitated, not wanting to admit that there were slaves who could read and write. "And I been practicing. Could ye gi'me a sheet a'paper and a lead pencil, please."Never pulled out a sheet of foolscap and found a fairly sharp pencil stub. "This big enough?" he asked.Elizabeth nodded. "Thank you. Other thing is, maybe ye don' want t'say, but Miranda, she was asking me a steady stream a'questions 'bout who the father of this. Realizing that such an update would harm Anna as much as it would have harmed me, I set off to find her first and warn her.As I took what some might call my first complete independent action, I also realized that I really wanted a memory update like Frieda's for myself. I would be able to accomplish so much more if I had it. I knew I wasn't likely to ever get one, since it was hardly necessary for the functions I was already performing.I also learned how Frieda managed to perform that marvelous. I accept my role. It's cleaner this way. Separation of church and state, so to speak."She nodded. "Keeping the line uncrossed. Because if I begin to unpack the conflicting emotions that threaten to spill out every time I daydream about… I would collapse into a puddle on this floor." I would catch you. Pick you up. Hold you. If you let me."She placed her hand over her pounding heart. "Will, I have to--" Go," he agreed. "I will take care of this."Abbey rose from her warm seat. She opened her.
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