Finally, I spoke to him about it. He just laughed, said I was thinking too much and pat me on the head.After a few weeks, I was slowly becoming a part...of his bigger friend group. We all met together once a week and I enjoyed myself. Even if a small part of myself wanted to keep him with me and only me. The part of me longed for those nights we hung out alone, talking only to each other about everything.That was the first thing I recognized something odd about my feelings towards him. At the. Maybe I wasn't quite as"straight" as I had always thought!When I returned to the living room, Alec had recovered and put hisclothing back in order. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to do more for you," Iapologised."No," he responded, "it was my fault. I promised you I would push youbeyond where you were willing to go but as soon as you gave me thesmallest sign of encouragement, I just couldn't stop myself." I do understand," I replied. "It was by the smallest margin that Istopped myself from letting. " To go along with that, you should make other people feel good because you'd want them to make you feel good. That's why I don't think it is wrong for one woman to lay with another."Delia nodded. "Why would the preacher say it was a bad thing?" If a woman lays with another woman, there's no chance that a baby is going to be born. It also says in the bible to "go forth and multiply". Which means have babies. In our case, Sam is already pregnant and I'm sure Cassie will be before long."Delia. It felt wicked. It felt forbidden, and dangerous, andthe most exciting thing I'd ever felt.It felt sexy.I flashed my union benefit card at the tiny receptionist, and she smiledand thanked me in her clipped English and gave me a reminder card for mynext appointment.I flew out the door, and down the street. I had to get home, so no onecould see my bulging front. Naturally, several people on the sidewalkdid get to see me, as I scooted by them.Minutes later, I had an anxiety attack. I think.I.
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