I didn’t even wash it after using it.We eventually reached home and fell straight into bed. I slept till lunch the next day and woke up when I heard...the mower going. It was a beautiful day. Martin was cutting the grass and everything seemed right in the world.Mother nature visited me during the next weekend so that curtailed any play. Martin seemed happy enough and we had talked about the party Saturday. He said it was fun but again he did not get to come, so he was a little miffed. I decided. I mean, I was ok with that. The family I was part of, or marrying into, or however you want to actually phrase it, had morals and ideals that I could abide. They were one of the bright rays of sunshine in a dark and depressing world, and had been for me for most of my adult life. I loved them all. And I loved Kelly so much, I couldn’t describe it.It felt wrong that I would run away from Rachel at a moment where she needed me the most, and yet decide to marry Kelly, even though she didn’t. I feel like we're drifting right now and I'm afraid that we're going to drift apart."I could see tears beginning to form but continued. "Maybe I don't treat you as good as I should. Maybe I should spend more time holding and loving you instead of working all those extra hours. Maybe I haven't told you often enough that I'm so happy that you're mine. But you are always on my mind." I took her hand and looked into her eyes."Every time things go wrong at work, I say to myself that I'm doing this. She found a psychiatrist, and the Dr. prescribed some medications. Those meds and the counseling helped her overcome some of her feeling of being a failure as a woman. I was also roped into attending a few sessions singly and with Julie. I was surprised when I was told Julie felt inadequate as a woman and mother. No amount of protest or any of my actions could convince her she was wrong. She was in therapy for more than two years. Then she declared herself cured and quit going. I read the final.
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