He doesn’t say anything to me as he does this and I don’t say anything to him. I just watch. He opens the bottle and pours two glasses of wine. He...comes back over and puts the glass in front of me. Suddenly I realize wine is exactly what I wanted. He takes a seat on the stool next to me and holds his glass up to toast. ‘Happy Halloween,’ he says. I clink my glass with his. ‘Happy Halloween.’ We both take a drink and set our glasses down. ‘So,’ he says. ‘Rough night?’ ‘Kind of.’ ‘What. I'll hold the chair for you." I can try I guess." I stand on top of the chair, lean all the way out,and am able to reach the baby doll. "Here ya go sis." I turn around andsee Miley looking up my dress.Miley has her hand over her mouth. "I thought that dress looked differenton you, and now I know why mommy put the plastic panties on you and adiaper that matches that dress." Don't tell anyone sis I feel so silly wearing a dress let alone a diaperand plastic panties too."The look of Miley smiling. Hearing your friend tell you that she cuts herself rather than talk about her feelings is indescribable. I completely froze and prayed that she was joking. But she wasn’t. That evening I cut my hand in an attempt to shock her into quitting. She saw it the next day. She was hurt but my plan failed. I know that was ridiculously stupid. The shame you feel after hurting yourself to cope is difficult to deal with and I’ll be honest and say that the shame sometimes made me feel so bad that I. Those people! They just had no feelings at all.She could cry, that was okay. Anyone would, after that. In fact it was weird how she hadn’t felt like crying while it was going on ... well Xenia wouldn’t have cared and Boris would’ve got off on it.But she had to not be a victim. Well, she could be a victim, as long as she worked at stopping being a victim. And she wasn’t here as a victim anyway: she was here as a trick, as part of a rescue. Xenia had tortured her, but she hadn’t got the secrets;.
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