In advertisements, in the movies, in the music and most men gawk even if they try to hide it.”“It's confusing for men, too, but I always look at a...sexy woman.” I took a sip of coffee and looked at her over the rim of my mug.Carla smiled and gazed into my eyes, then leaned forward and whispered. “I like how you look at me.”“Good.” I nodded and returned her smile.“I read something in some magazine. Maybe it was People. Not sure. Anyway, some famous female philosopher from France said, 'Men like. I feltawful abandoning him. But I also felt awful that he had been the one whohad wanted to steal my life and make me a thing for only him. I did notgo home that night. I drove my car as far as I could into the gorge. Iintended to run away forever, afraid what they could do worse to me. Butas I drove I calmed, and as the sun broke through the night I rememberedhow they had said that they were sure I did not remember. And so I cameback, more afraid that they might notice I had fled and search. Ted had no problem with this since he really didn't think she would get a lot done in the two weeks that she had before she was due to start her new job and I had to use up some vacation days as well.I had him send me out of town for a few days so I could make some arrangements without Beth knowing. We talked while I was "away" and she had no clue that I wasn't out of town at all because I talked to her on my cell phone and not a hotel phone. The first morning I called my travel agent and. Mom walked in to the kitchen smiling. "So what time are you going to that party Jonathan?" She asked. "I don't think I will mom, I'm not really in the mood to go out. I think I'll stay in." A look of shock crossed her face. I had told her a week ago, once dad said he would be out of town, that there was a party I wouldn't miss for the world tonight. I hoped it might give her ideas and lead her to call 'someone'. "Oh!" She said. "Why? I mean...you seemed really excited about it." "I dunno mom,".
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