Burnt sienna... no, too bright. Make it darker, muddier... yeah, better. Some paint started to run. I reached to stop the runs, but hesitated. No, it'... all right. Let the paint run. Let it take on a life of its own. No, no sharp edges.A palette knife feathered the edges.What fuels rage? Fear. Rage starts with fear. Is Sara full of rage beneath her fear and depression? Or is her fear and depression the result of rage?Try another direction. Cobalt violet. Yes! Texture. I need texture. Sand?. Janet has it recorded from later. We repeated that a couple of times, or anyhow I tried to. Finally I shook my head slightly, and pointed very carefully at him and said 'Joe.' Or really, more like— well, I told you. He pointed back to me and said my name the best he could."We tried a few other words with each other. 'Grass, ' 'ground, ' 'sky, ' things like that. We got to 'clothes, ' and that was when I asked for Janet. Joe seemed to get more comfortable as we went on; I noticed him really kind. Owww&hellip, Daddy. Are you listening to me? The rage in my voice was rising. Stop that hurts! Huh? Are you listening? Let go! Tell me right now that you will stop this. Daddy youre hurting me. She began to writhe around and pull her arm. She just wasnt going to listen. She wasnt going to say it. I couldnt fucking believe it. A tug of war ensued, but I was clearly stronger. Twist and pull all she might, she wasnt going anywhere. That is until she swung her foot around and kicked me in the. Now the hard part was letting Rob know. We regularly go out for a drink together and I thought this was the ideal time, so after a few pints of dutch courage I took him to one side and told him what we had been doing. He didn't believe a word and thought I was winding him up. We'd already planned ahead and we'd put some explicit, well-chosen pics of her on my phone, I handed it to him and he went through the gallery one by one, his chin nearly hitting the floor! He'd known her for years, longer.
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