A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”“Is this her first child?�...� asks the Doctor.“No!” he shouts, “this is her husband!”A blonde man is in jail, the guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.“Just WHAT are you doing?” he asks.“Hanging myself,” the blonde replies.“The rope should be around your neck” says the guard.“I tried that,” he replies, “but then I couldn’t breathe.”An Italian tourist asks a. ”“Neither am I,” he replied. But he didn’t say anything else. He kept looking at me. But he wasn’t scanning my body. He was looking straight into my eyes. This made me like him even more.Then I turned towards him and now we both were looking into each other’s eyes. I felt like this was the best way of conversation. We weren’t talking at all but we could easily send our horny thoughts into each other’s minds. Even though he was just looking into my eyes, I couldn’t stop looking at his bulge. All. .. I feel you deep inside me ... it feels so good ... go deeper please? Shove your hardness up my pussy...”By now I hand my hand around the base of my mighty erection. Typing with a single hand is difficult when you are about to splurge all over yourself.“When I’m this hard and so close to cumming inside you, all I can think of is my mother. Can you pretend to be my mom, please?”“Yesssssss!”I got up and opened my door ... in case I heard a sound.“Keep squeezing, Mom ... it feels so damn good.. Nothing. For moments. Hours. DAYS.She knew better than to say anything. He'd punish her rather than titillating her - he'd hurt rather than reward. She couldn't say anything.She couldn't hear him, though, and as her flush faded, as her skin cooled and she began to come back to herself, she wondered what his next delicious torture would be.She waited. Heart rate slowing. Breath becoming even. And still, nothing.Without any warning but the brush of air preceding the blow, it came. From nowhere -.
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