The promise I made was to comfort a warrior. You should have died and rested in peace before you were reborn. The wizard only heard my words and thoug...t to act on them. Time and other duties kept him from finishing what he started.”The king took a breath, “but you are alive once more. Reborn as one of my people and we still owe you a great debt.”I shifted uncomfortably, “you own me no debt.”He smiled, “that is the Kelso I remember of old.”He stopped and looked at me, “but you are wrong. I am. The annual honor given to the persons who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way. Last year’s winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out.This year’s winner was a real rocket scientist...Read on ... And remember that each and every one of these is TRUE.And the nominees were: Semifinalist #1A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk. The apartment was dark, save for a small candle on the kitchen table. On the table was a note which read ‘Bring this candle with you, we are in my bedroom’. I picked up the candle and walked to the doorway of Peggy’s bedroom.Once inside of her room, I could smell a beautiful fragrance. As I approached her bed I could see that Peggy and Kim were in the bed naked, covered but by a thin sheet. “Join us!” Peggy said excitedly. I quickly removed my clothes and joined them on the bed. They. As she drove she thought to herself, I really don’t want to go home to an empty house again. And that vibrator just wasn’t cutting it.Just then she saw a bar on the right side of the road. Foxy’s, it was called. Several of the other women in her office had talked about going to Foxy’s after work but she had never joined them. Why not stop in, she thought. And she did.Foxy’s was like any other bar; long winding counter with stools and a dance floor surrounded by booths. She sat at the bar and.
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