To tell the truth, we eat all of our meals at the bar except when we have company, and Nancy often has papers and projects on the dining table. That w...s the case today, and besides, Nancy always wants to have the kitchen as a retreat when the poker gang comes over, so we had set up a card table in the living room for the game.I figured I could peek through a small window at the side of the living room without getting caught. There were venetian blinds on it, but hopefully they wouldn't be too. We hadn’t talked about us because it wasn’t about us. At least, it had not been, not until that kiss at the station.That was the foremost question in my mind. Was there an ‘us’? The kiss, when it was no longer about Birgit, had rocked me back and left me stunned. My struggle was whether there SHOULD even be an us? Could I ever see her as someone separate from Birgit? What did she think of me? Was her act of love purely an expression of Birgit’s love, as Karin understood it? Had Birgit spoken to. Once out of the shower I dried him and myself and affixed the collar around his neck. My son had a loopy smile on his face. Taking him by the hand I led him to my bedroom and had him kneel at the foot of my bed. I lit two candles and placed one on each nightstand on opposite sides of the bed. Next I lit some jasmine incense. When I was ready I came and stood behind my son. I turned him around to face the mirror hanging on the door to my room. I placed my hands on his head and ran my. He was at school, and just when I was ready to lose hope, he showed upoutside the door after classes. He wouldn't meet my eyes, but he saidto me, "I have been dreaming of you since just after your attack. In mydreams, you have been begging me to help you. But you don't understandwhat that will cost me." I think I do," I said. I showed him the binder I had gotten from mymom. "Let me tell you a story," I said, "there was a boy with a secret,something that set him apart, left him feeling isolated.
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